Welcome to the Breaking III Finale WikiaEdit
Ultimate roast.This is the end of the breaking chapters.
The ultimate and final best roast/story in the series:Edit
July 11 2030:It was getting about the time for election again,Matt and Reed sat in there oval office,getting there dicks sucked.Its been a long and stressful time for being presidents,but they had there funny moments,after all these years its time for some new candidates.
Matt was high off weed and oxycodone,reed was as drug free as possible but high off life.The people who were sucking Matt and Reeds cocks were french whores that starred in many pornos.Ones name was Cunt licker,the others name was schlong mouth.All of sudden a alarm rang,a security guard ran into the oval office and yelled! "THERES A GROUP OF ARMED MEN IN THE BUILDING,MASKED WITH SKI MASKS".The whores rose up and ran out the room,they both probably were dead because gunshots went off.Matt and reed quickly hopped off there seats,exchanged glances then reached in there desk drawers for there guns.They both pulled out a ar-15 rifle.They quickly opened the door,exited there oval office,got in cover.Then a song started playing,a really shitty song,it sounded like....,it was kendama walk!
"Watch me kendama walk,watch me suck your cock,let this party rock,your boyfriend likes the way i talk".The men were racing towards matt and reed.Matt started firing his weapon,the bullets bounced off.Reed said "These assholes are probably using a invisible force shield device". Matt and reed both ran but it was to late the 3 men were staring them straight in the eye.They shot all the security guards,including the one that just warned them,they then all took off there masks....Matt and Reed could not believe there eyes.It was robert vento,davey lamance,and dylan shit.3 people they roasted on facebook back in 2016.Robert vento was a 1000 liked facebook page,he was a scammer business man similiar to saul off of breaking bad.Now he owns several corporations and is a Highly paid attorney.Dylan shit went to juvie alot in his teen years,similiar to matt in that way,but only that way,he is now 31,matt and him were close in age.Dylan shit is straight out of prison,but he knows connections,and gun suppliers.Davey lamance was all the way from tennessee,Matt and reed never even knew him,he was just a white long haired goofy looking kid that claimed he was a blood,and joined a hood group on facebook.Robert was 5'8,Davey was 5'7,Dylan shit was 5'9.All had dark hair.Anyway back to the story.As those 3 unmasked motherfuckers looked matt and reed in the eye,robert said "You think facebook trollings funny,you dont think we remember you,us 3 are running for president motherfucker,were gonna make sure we win,you rig all the fucking votes or you die now motherfucker.you got it?".Matt and reed exchanged glances,then gave in.
January 2 2031:Robert Vento won the presidency,Davey Laymance was allowed a home in the white house,Dylan shit was vice president.Matt and Reed handed over the keys to the new presidents,they all were sitting in the oval office.Robert vento said to matt and reed "thanks for playing along,now get the fuck out before we kill you 3".Matt gave him a funny look,Davey then said "whats with the look motherfucker,you wanna get popped by me and my crew mothafucka?".Reed then pitched in and said "Guys,lets calm down,lets be rational".Dylan shit then stood up,got out his chair and yelled "fuck you chink ass pussy,calling me dylan shit when you well know i can fuck you up".Reed glared at him.Matt then said "fuck you dylan shit stain". Davey then said "Shut up autistic retard" to matt.Matt and reed got up,robert laid back and enjoyed the show,davey stood up also.Then Reed jumped towards dylan and screamed "IM GONNA KILL YOU SUCK MY FAT COCK YOU FUCKING DUMB ASS DYLAN SHIT STAIN COCK EATER!".Matt then reached his hand into his pants,and whipped out his cock.you may be asking why matt whipped out his cock,well recently he just got a kinda super power made for his dick injected into him,his dick turns into razor sharp nails,kinda like wolverine,but hes dick-o-rene?.Matt then ran towards davey,davey got scared and tried running to open the door,then a big explosion went through the door.It was the swat team.Robert got up and said"I got you motherfuckers on recording,police arrest these two retarded rappers,a rapper should never be a president,i was actually a fucking business man".The swat then looked at matt,reed was pushed off dylan shit.Matt and reed were arrested,and tooken out.
March 2 2031:Matt and Reed sat in there jail cell,they were held with a assault charge,today was there last court date,if they plead guilty,they will get out on time served,with probation,if they plead non guilty,they will remain in jail and have a trial.But that was not the least of there worries,the whole fight incident at the white house was uploaded to youtube and several people hate matt and reed,several companies are dis-abandoning and suing matt and reed, there money was gone,there career is over,they basically have to live in a apartment together and get a job at some low life restaurant or game store.Robert vento ruined their career.All of sudden,there jail cell was getting opened by a guard.Matt and reed stood up.The guard then looked at them and said "Time for court".The two ex presidents walked toward the guard,the guard walked them out the cell,down the ugly crummy hallway that smelt like a black guy fucking mackie turner,finally they reached the door to the court room,luckily all the people on the docket were done besides them,it was time for the judge to talk to them.The judge was a hot lady.The judge then said to matt and reed "Listen up,i know this does not sound professional,but i support you,i used to finger my pussy back in 2019 to your music before you guys became president,your shit was dope,my names lydia,i cant help you with your money situation,but to not fuck up your life and put some crimes on your rap sheet,ill drop it.Your lucky i was here today,no other judge would do this".Matt and reed both smirked at each other and both knew that they were gonna bang this judge sometime.The guard then smiled and took matt and reed out of the court room,and took them to the room right next to the exit of the jail.They were given there clothes and told to go to these two bathrooms in the rooms and changed,after that the guard said "you are free to go,have a nice day".Then Matt and Reed walked out.Freedom Atlast.They were sent back to there hometowns.They received welfare.
April 3 2031:Matt And Reed were sitting in a apartment they split the rent on,they currently are receiving welfare.Reed was sitting in a chair at a table in the kitchen in the 1 bedroom apartment.Matt sat in another chair.They were looking at jobs on there welfare received laptops.The jobs they all saw were nothing they could get or interested in,but then the ultimate job finally showed up! Reed and matt both dropped there mouths when they saw a picture of Trevor holding the deluxe edition of the new video game called dildo express,He was wearing his best buy uniform,Trevor owns the best buy in there hometown.Also dildo express was a new video game,its about a Kid named Drake that gets picked on all the time,but he becomes powerful after a gamestop incident,two men went in there and yelled DILDO EXPRESS,And he freaked out and started beating the shit out of him,little did he know that the next day he would find a dildo in his bedroom that has magical powers.Lets get back to the story now.Matt and Reed were both good friends with trevor so they decided to go see if they could get a job at best buy.Matt and reed may have received welfare but they still didnt have a car,luckily the walk to best buy was only 20 minutes.They got out of there seats and exited the apartment door.The outside was dark and dry,the way a emo would love it and probably cum to it,Matt asked reed "Reed do you think we will get a job and maybe a free copy of dildo express?".Reed replied "If we convince trevor to get us a job im pretty sure we will get atleast a discount,besides trevors got a fat cock,that means he will love us".They both laughed.Then they reached best buy,as they were about to walk in they saw a guy that looked really familiar,he was homeless looking and his face kinda looked like a shit stained rug,Then they both realized it was trevors little brother hayden.Matt and Reed approached them.Then the shit stained rug aka Hayden opened up his shit stained mouth and said "Oh my god is that really you,matt and reed,i still support you after the robert vento business.Anyway i just got fired and im supposed to be waiting here for cops to come,i stole a bottle before i went to work and i showed up drunk,anyway since trevor thinks hes big and bad now since he owns this best buy he called the cops on me and told i stole bottles also".
Reed replied "Shut the fuck up you shit stained peice of shit,you are a slow retard".Matt had to calm Reed down,matt tried holding reed back.But Reed hit hayden in the face and beat his ass.Then the cop car showed up,they saw the shit stained rug getting his ass beat,and the police got out the car and it was only one cop,he was white.
The cop said "Oh my god is that Matt and Reed,keep beating this dumbasses ass and then i get to book him in jail,fuck yeah!".The cop pulled out his iphone and started recording and Reed pulled down his pants and shit on haydens face then reed said "yeah get that shit daddy,you fucking like it little bitch".Then Matt pulled down his pants and started jacking off and then when he was about to nut he said "oh yeah get that cum daddy".The cop kept recording,then said "thats enough,let me take the shit stained rug away". Matt and Reed pulled there pants up.Then the cop approached the shit cum stained rug and put him in the car.Then Matt and Reed walked into best buy.The Best buy looked alot different since the last time they visited it in 2016.Thousands of best buy employees were walking around wearing dildo express deluxe edition t shirts.They tried looking for Trevor.Matt and Reed approached a employee.He was short,white and fat,had a big head,bigger then mackie turners dead ass.Reed asked the employee "Have you seen trevor?".The employee then replied and said "Hi my names Lairtserret artxe Eikcam".The strange named employee continued "Its a weird name,im from russia,But you can call me "Jerry",Trevors in the back,hes working on a very important project,i dont know if you should disturb,but do as you wish,i gotta go sell more dildo express copies.They both grinned.Then the employee walked away.Matt said to reed "Lets sing dora the explorer again,like back in 2016".Reed laughed then said "Trevors got a fat cock".They then raced to the back,and started singing trevors got a fat cock trevors got a fat cock.
April 3 2031 (Trevor's perspective):Trevor was working on a important project with his colleagues,Trevor was making a time machine.Then all of sudden he heard two random singing voices "Trevors got a fat cock".He then started to cry,he really missed matt and reed,but then he realized,it wasnt in his head,they were right behind him.
April 3 2031 (Normal perspective):Trevor quickly pushed Matt and Reed out of the back then exited the back and started yelling "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING,IM WORKING ON A PROJECT MOTHERFUCKER,YOUR FUCKING IT UP GODDAMN IT,ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS HAVE A GOOD DAY AT WORK THEN FUCK MY WIFE DORA!".Matt and reed started laughing.Trevor then decided this was worthless and gave up and asked "Look what the fuck do you want"?.Reed then said "Me and Matt want jobs".Trevor then smiled and then said "haha you idiots have nothing now and talk shit all the time but okay,you will be working with Jerry,and you will be only getting 4 hours.Matt then got hot boiling red and yelled "THATS FUCKING BULLSHIT WERE ADULTS,TEENAGERS GET MORE THEN THAT YOU DORA LOVING DILDO FUCK HEAD COCK SUCKER".Trevor then smiled and said "I expect you two dipshits tommorow?".Reed pushed back matt and then said "Yes,but after you teach us some respect and maybe a lesson will we get higher hours,because this is bull dylan shit,and has no momento like robert vento".Trevor then replied "yes,but i dont want any retarded white kids that think there gang members that you guys troll online coming into my store".Matt then said "Trevor,this is more then dylan shit,this is some isis bullshit".Trevor replied and said "You and Reed were to busy doing drugs and fucking sluts,none of you took care of isis".Reed then stepped in and said "Trevor you little bitch,your whipped to your girlfriend dora".Trevor then got hot red and said "Her name is alexandria!,it does not matter if shes mexican!,shes not a slut!,im not her bitch!".Then two mexican kids walked toward all 3 of them,one was tall had black hair,one was short and fat and said "Aye what you say about mexicans".Matt then replied and said "Trevor said we could not work as long as the mexicans here,because you guys are good slaves and us whites are lazy and he hates you all".The two mexicans then yelled at trevor and said "You better give these two whiteboys some hours aye,or imma come back to best buy and it aint gonna be a best buy,its gonna be a El Chapo buy".Then trevor got really scared and said "yes,okay man".Then the two mexicans stared matt and reed down and then realized who they are.Then the tall mexican said "Hey,your matt and reed?",Aye you kicked the new presidents ass,you guys are heroes".Matt smiled nervously and then replied "yes we took dylan shit and cousin fucker blood wannabe down".Then the mexicans laughed and walked away.Trevor then said "Get the fuck out of here both of you,and dont come back till tommorow".Matt and Reed both laughed alot and ran out the best buy.
April 4 2031 Midnight
Trevor was all alone at his store best buy,He was in the back,the project was to make a time machine that could be made universal for everyone,it was not the usual time machine you would think of were you go back in time,its basically a simulator that you go in,it will simulate anywhere from prehistoric times to present.
Hes been working on it all year with his employees,more people joined because of it,actually alot of people,which was strange,best buy was becoming a major corporation,it was getting harder to apply everyday,you could kiss your ass goodbye if you were a illegal alien,or a person with a criminal record.Your income really mattered to,its no longer really a low income job you have to atleast be middle class,Matt and reed were the only exceptions.Trevor was currently working on the bugs and issues.He did not want Matt and Reed to help with the project at all.Not at all.
April 4 2031 5 am
Matt woke up before reed.Since Reed was asleep,Matt decided it was a good time to relieve some stress,and teach himself some respect.Matt was laying in his bed.His welfare laptop was right next to him,he took off his underwear,then went on the nice little porno sites on his welfare laptop so he could fucking cum.
He went onto xvideos,he prefered it over pornhub. He was watching two lesbians finger each others clits till they fucking squirted and he fucking cummed.For some weird reason he finally busted,and cummed the biggest nut of his life,it was atleast 6 feet long,it reached reeds bed.Then Reed woke up.Matt said outloud "OH YEAH THAT FELT SO FUCKING GOOD,I TOUGHT MYSELF SOME REAL FUCKING RESPECT!!!. Reed awoke to cum all over him and his bed,it was like a cum tsunami.He got up and screamed at matt and said "Sheet,you motherfucker,you got cum all over me,im taking the shower first for work.Matt then smiled and said "Yeah reed,i bet you liked getting that cum daddy".Reed then said to Matt "Your a fucking idiot,im going to take a shower".Matt sat there pleased after his tsunami nut.
April 4 2031 9 am
Matt and Reed finally reached best buy,they had to walk once again,the cum tsunami was still not picked up.
They walked into the best buy.Trevor was at the front desk.Matt and Reed then approached him.When Trevor saw them both he said "Your uniforms are in the back,dont touch my project or ill bite your cock off,then ill really teach you a lesson and some fucking respect".Reed laughed,Matt chuckled.Then they both raced to the back.When they finally reached the back,there was jerry working on trevors magical project.The two approached jerry.Matt then asked Jerry "What is this thing".Jerry replied "Its a time machine,well actually a time simulator".Matt and Reed had both huge rock cock hard boners in there pants.Jerry then said "oh yeah your here for your uniforms,i am already changed but theres only one spare uniform,ill have to give one of you mine".Matt and Reed were disgusted.But Matt took one for the team and said ill take yours jerry.Jerry then pulled down his pants,took off his shirt and underwear,all of them said best buy approved on it,he was butt naked now,he even had a best buy tattoo on his ass but it was shaped as a dick going into his ass.Reed then yelled while laughing "what the fuck haahahhaha,you did not have to take off your underwear,i feel so bad for you matt hahahahha".Jerry then said "Its okay i was gonna go into the time simulator and fuck marilyn monroe anyway with john f kennedy".Matt then said "Nice i always wanted to fuck marilyn". Jerry smiled then replied "Yeah me to,and i get to fuck john f kennedys hot cock and ass,which makes it even better".Reed started laughing.Matt was laughing to.Then Jerry added "And im gonna simulate 9/11 im gonna be the arabian little fuck hijacking the airplane,im also gonna be jacking off while i crash into the building." Matt fell on the floor and could not breath,he never laughed that hard.Jerrys naked ass then walked over to matt to hand him his uniform ,matt wasnt paying attention but when he did,jerrys nasty ballsack was in matts face.Matt jumped up.Reed laughed.Then jerry entered the simulator,the simulator took jerry by the ass and penetrated him and then teleported him to his weird little fantasies.Matt finally had time to put on his uniform.
April 4 2031 10 am.Matt and Reed were stocking video game shelves full of more copies of dildo express.
Jerry was still in the simulator.No sign of Trevor though.While Matt and Reed were stocking shelves,a employee came up to them,he was tall had nerdy glasses and some spiky gay hair.,his name tag said jason He then told them."these two girls need help,i cant deal with them right now,im up next for the time simulator,i cant wait to fuck marilyn".
"What do they want?".Reed asked.Jason replied "They want the preorder deluxe version of Dildo express,which comes with the actual dildo to please yourself with, they say they are in a hurry and stopped by the nearest store to get a dildo,they are running low on gas so they dont wanna drive to a sex shop". Matt and Reed then smiled at each other.Matt asked reed "You thinking what im thinking".Reed then replied "hell yes,lets make these girls fucking cum and teach them some respect,every girl wants to fuck Matt and Reed".Then the two girls that jason was talking about walked up.One was short had long brown hair,wait a minute she looked familiar,it was sonia turner! Mackie turners mom.The other was 5'5 had some long blonde hair,pretty but looked tough,wait was that lydia the judge?.Matt and Reed then shoke both of there hands.Jason walked away.Then sonia yelled "oh my god its matt and reed!".Lydia then yelled "i got you guys out of jail!".Matt and Reed both said thanks! Then the two older but hot looking sluts grabbed matt ands reeds cocks."We want you to be our dildo express".Said both the sluts.Then both matt and reed said "we will make you fucking cum and teach you some respect".
April 4 2031 11 am.Matt,Reed,Sonia,lydia were in Sonias car right behind best buy,Sonia was getting fucked by matt,lydia was getting fucked by reed.Sonia screamed "OH MATT TEACH ME A LESSON,I WANNA LEARN A LESSON TODAY,I WANT RESPECT,I WANT SOME FUCKING RESPECT SO I CAN FUCKING CUM!".Matt was beating the pussy up,his cock was harder then ever.Lydia was getting fucked in the asshole by reed.lydia then screamed "oh reed fuck my tight little cunt,make it loose,make it really loose,i wanna be a slut,im dirty,fuck with me that dirty cock,yeah be my dildo express".Reed and Matt then both fucking cummed!!!!!!!!! It was a 2x tsunami nut.The whole car was flooded with cum.Everyone was drowning in it and had to swim out of it and opened the car doors.That was one hell of a day.
April 4 2031 1 pm
Two hours after Matt and Reed gave those girls some dildo express,They were back at work.Right after the cum scene they went back,but that isnt important.
Matt and Reed once again were stocking shelves,Then all of sudden trevor approached them.Matt and Reed stared at him.Then trevor opened up his mouth and said "I heard you left with some girls for a while,you were not on break".Reed then said "Shut the fuck up trevor,we are not your bitch you think because you own best buy you are the shit,you were never the president,you were never famous,you never started from nothing then made it to the top".Trevors mouth dropped.He went silent.Then his face turned red and he raced towards reed and yelled "YOUR FUCKING DONE!".He slammed reed to the floor and started punching the shit out of him.Matt just stood there and watched because he had no idea what to do.Then all of sudden screams were coming out from the back.It was Jerry.Jerry ran towards the shelves butt ass naked.Once Trevor heard jerry,he got off of reed.Jerry rushed towards Trevor.Trevor then said "what the fuck is wrong jerry,whats wrong".Jerry then replied "No matter what you do,do not go outside".Trevor then screamed "what the fuck why".Jerry then replied "The time simulator,its real.".
Trevor then screamed "what do you mean its real".Jerry then scaredly said "Well,i went back to world war 2 just now,i simulated as the Japanese and wanted to see what would happen if the nazis and japan won.Well after that i went to 9/11 to simulate the terrorist attacks,And America turned into slavery,The japanese were whipping the white people,and segregation never got removed.blacks were pet slaves,So were whites,chinese were force to eat dogs all the time,mexicans were forced to shoot slaves if they screwed up,while they were slaves to.The only people that had rights were the jap's.But thats not the worst part,if you look outside,you will wanna commit suicide." Matt,Reed,And Trevor started laughing.But then all of sudden all the tvs in best buy turned on by themselves.Then some sort of broadcast was happening.A dark figure was in the broadcast,then its face appeared,It was Robert Vento.Matt and reed exchanged nervous glances.Then the worthless Robert vento started talking and saying shivering words."Hello boys,i know you are confused,well last night i had someone add a little touch to the time simulator,i actually made it a real fucking time machine,you have 24 hours before your dead,the times ticking,the world is already slowly turning into what jerry fucked up,remember since the japs won,you were never born." Matt,Reed,Trevor,and jerrys mouth dropped.Then all of sudden jason ran towards them.He was sweating and screaming "Guys,i was outside and one side of the street is normal american civilians and the other is slaves and japanese,is this world war 3?".Roberts disgusting voice then spoke up again "Let me explain this thoroughly,the damage Jerry has done activates fully after 24 hours,you will all be different people or just erased,right now its half and half because it just happened,well i would not even say half,probably a quarter.But you better get moving this will be a fun game,use that time machine and lets see whos the ad victorian,goodbye".The broadcast ended. They all stood frozen.Then Matt decided they needed to do something about this.Then he spoke up and said "we need to do something about this,from my experience of 30 almost 31 years in life,i was born in october 6 2000,i have started from nothing,a bullied little kid everyone called retarded and did not think was cool,to a fucking rapper,then a president,right now im at rock bottom,but i know we can motherfucking make it back to the top!,lets go in that fucking machine and save the world!".Reed clapped.Trevor sighed.Jerry shivered.Jason froze.Then they all decided to follow what matt said and they headed to the back to start the time simulator,that was now a time machine.
April 4 2031 2 pm
The time machine was loading up,it takes a hour to get to 100% to use.
Ding! The time machine made a sound.It was time for them to get in.Matt stared at them nervously.Then jason spoke up "Ill stay here and watch the place,matt,trevor,reed,and jerry you go! They all hesitated but agreed.The time machine was starting up and matt looked nervous at the portal light flashing inside of it.
Matt hesitated then jumped in.Then the rest followed.
1945 WWII DNE EMAG
Matt,Reed,Trevor and jerry could not see anything but black."WERE THE FUCK ARE WE".Screamed Jerry.Then everything flashed.They were in a nazi jew holding cell.
A nazi guard was smoking a cig outside the cell.Another guard was next to him.After the nazi finished his cig he and the other nazi started making out.It was getting hot and heavy.They both got butt naked and started fucking.Matt,Reed,Trevor,and jerry exchanged glanses and started laughing.The fucking was going wild there clothes were bouncing everywhere.Then all of sudden a key fell out of one of there pants and went right into the cell.The nazis did not even notice.Trevor picked it up.And unlocked the gate.The 4 walked through the gate,then the nazis started to notice.The nazi got his cock out of the other nazis ass and started punching trevor.Matt punched the nazi in the face.Trevor reached for the nazis pants to find a gun,then he found a pistol and aimed it at the nazi that got fucked in the ass,and bang! dead,then he shot the nazi that hit him.The group saw a set of stairs to run up.They ran up the stairs,then right there they saw adolf hitler sucking a nazis cock.Matt was laughing hard.Reed was dying.Jerry just sat there.Trevor screamed "Hands on the ground adolf".Adolf got the nazi cock out of his mouth and then said "This isnt real,your being fucked with".Then bang a flash stung there eyes.They could then see again.They were back at the back of best buy and the time machine was at 0%.Jason stared up at them and said "Robert,he,he,fucked you".Matt then screamed "How the fuck is that". Jason then replied and said "He just wanted to rob best buy and create a diversion and run you out of your money,but his ultimate goal was to nuke the united states of america and fly off with his helicopter,the slaves and japanese were hired actors the time machine being real was a lie,i was forced to tell you." Reed then replied "How the fuck do you know". Then Jason stood up and pulled a knife out of his pocket and cut his face open,except it was not a face,it was a mask.The person behind it made Matt,Reed,And trevors head shake more then the 9/11 twin towers. It was Logan Perdue?
Reed then screamed "How,how are you alive".
Logan then replied "Let me tell you a story,it goes way back to the night me and mackie died."
July 24 2019
Logan,Mackie,Trump,Keemstar,and onision may have look dead,but they were somewhere else.A dark scary deep pit.
Hell.They all woke up in hell.The devil looked at them.Logan started crying,Trump started crying to,and then Santa clause appeared next to satan and said "we have something for you,well actually,fuck keemstar and trump and onision you guys can burn".Then Santa went on and said "Im not the good guy,why do you think all the naughty kids get presents every year,anyway,if you can kill matt and reed,i will grand you eternal life on earth,i have many forms on earth,like a small time businessman named robert vento".Logan and Mackie Nodded.
Then santa took off his pants and said "bend over you got to take this cock,its a requirement,your new names will be jason,and Lairtserret artxe Eikcam".Logan then replied "I cant wait to take some old man santa cock". Mackie then said "I wanna repent i dont wanna be in hell,i dont want a cock in my ass,fuck that".Santa then walked over to Logan and said "Im gonna zap mackies memory,and brain wash him into thinking hes Lairtserret artxe Eikcam,he will tell people to call him jerry since his names so long,im also roasting him with the name Lairtserret artxe Eikcam,if you reverse that it comes out to mackiE extra terrestriaL,he will gain weight from having a depressed personality and shoving his emotions with food you can keep your memory,but i will assign you a ultimate human looking costume,you will be working at best buy,one day when matt and reed have a down fall it will be your chance".Logan Then nodded and replied "yes santa daddy,i want this so bad,now bend me over and shove a candy cane in my ass".Mackie then stared at logan and said "Your a fucking faggot bro".Then santa whipped out his cock and squirted brainwash cum juice at mackie.then mackie passed out.Then logan smiled and he pulled down his pants and got butt naked and took that santa cock.
April 4 2031 2 pm
Matt,Reed,trevor,and Jerry aka mackie were all shocked.Then Matt and reed fell on the floor laughing.
Logan then said "Yeah,yeah,you guys are so immature".
Matt and Reed then stood up.Then Matt asked "If this is so true,what about earlier when the world was half and half,how do we know your just not tricking us to save ourselves in 24 hours".Logan then replied "It was a hologram force field around the area that Robert had me do,but what made me realize is when you guys went in,i understood how much caring and loyal you are,and even jerry aka mackie was good to,and i dont wanna be like this anymore,i wanna be good,i dont wanna go to hell".Reed then asked "What about all the people in the store,why are they gone? Logan then said "he had me close best buy down for the day,even though im not the boss,he threatened to kill me"
Then all the tvs in best buy started up again.Of Course,we know that its robert vento.Robert vento then started talking
"I am very disappointed in this foolish fuck named Logan perdue,its okay though,this nuke will spread out and destroy 2 of the most democratic states,one a highly lgbt/femanzi state,then a state with alot of islamic motherfucking muslims,blacks,and mexicans that play the race card,and it will turn into a race war for all you white boys,you are all gonna die anyway,good bye motherfuckers".The Broadcast then stopped.They all exchanged glances.Reed then spoke up and said "Its time we find a way to get to washington dc".Trevor spoke up and said "Lets take my car". Matt replied "Great this will be just like the old days,the squad that never got along because logan and mackie always wanna be bitches". Logan then replied "Bro calm down i have changed". Matt replied "You have never changed,maybe you are just a coward thats afraid of death".Mackie then replied "Well of course he is,i am to,i might still possibly go to hell,i had no idea i was this type of person,i thought i have always been a man named jerry". Matt then replied "The jerry you is way better then the real you,continue to be jerry". Reed then screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!". Everyone got quiet.Trevor asked "whats wrong reed". Reed then replied "We are all arguing about some bullshit like we did when we were kids,you motherfuckers are so goddamn annoying,i cannot fucking believe it,lets get a fucking move on the road and kill this robert vento fuck,i just wanna be done with this shitty life".Trevor then replied "okay...man okay".Then they all exited best buy.Trevors car was right in the front,just like were the shit stained rug hayden got his ass beat.Trevor then walked to his car,took the keys out of his best buy approved pants pocket.Then he stuck that big fucking key in the hole,and the car started up.Everyone entered in.Once everyone was in the car.Trevor started the car,Matt was in the passenger,Reed was in the back along with mackie and logan,then trevor started backing up outside of the parking lot.They then were on the busy traffic dirty streets.They had reached a stop light.It was terrible waiting.Then some guy drove up next to him and rolled down his window.Matt was sitting in the passenger,so he rolled down the window to talk to him.When matt looked out the window he saw the stereotypical hood black male.The stereotype then asked "Hey mane,im lookng for best buy,i heard they got some dildo express video game type shit,i heard if i buy the preorder deluxe version of Dildo express,i get a fucking dildo mane,and keep it on the low,but my names jamal and i love them balls,if you know what i mean ;)".Matt then started cracking up,along with trevor,reed,mackie,and logan.Matt then replied "yeah the best buy is really close we just got out of there just back out of this stop light and go straight down and you should see it". Jamal then replied "Aye thanks mane,but i gotta bust you down a rap,Its a gay gangsta,imma suck yo dick like a ice cream stick taste so good in my motherfucking mouth cum in my ass i can't take the dick out,you know i love dick and i eat it if you got a big cock imma fucking beat it,im on a mission to suck a dick for tradition i love it in my ass thats my favorite position".Matt then replied "oh so you rap to,i do too".Jamal then replied "Theres no way in hell yo white ass ever fucking rapped,ugly ass mothafucka,lets have a rap battle then".Matt then replied "Okay,do you realize i was a famous rapper".Jamal then replied "Oh shit,yeah its you matt and reed,haha you got the owner of best buy in there in your ride to,haha you first". Matt then started off the battle with "yo its matt on the track tryna prove im not wack,i got a radioactive flow and im attractive you know your hoe was asking for some dough,but i also gave her the d in that word bro,im a white light motherfucker and your girlfriend know it i asked her to sucked my cock even though i knew she already wanted to blow it,i dont even buy my kush man i grow it,i get on the mic my skill is for real its the deal and its tight".Jamal then replied "Aye mane fuck you,racist white cracka". Jamal whipped out a uzi and started shooting trevors tires and then screamed "I aint gonna kill you,but imma make you stop,dont ever try to drop the young mc crack rock sellin rebellin black man,cuz if you attack me i come back with my homies thats real g".Jamal then drove out of the stop light and drove down to best buy.Trevor screamed "WHAT THE FUCK!,NOW WE HAVE NO RIDE".Then a huge thing up in the sky appeared,it was a...oh no it was the nuke.Everyone stared up at it.Reed then replied "I think that's the least we have to worry about".Then it landed.Everything went black.Were they dead?
April 4 2031 4 pm
All 5 of them were passed out not dead.Jamal was at best buy and he woke up before any of them.He drove back to the stop light.There was the nuke damage.everyone was just passed out though.Nothing on fire or dead.But there was a big rocket sticking out on the street.Jamal exited his whip.He walked over to the rocket.It said,"Fuck you niggers,spics and chinks,we fucking hate you all and decided were gonna bomb you because we are mad that we lost are fame,we are white and we rule". The signature said -Matt and Reed,and his best buy friends,+logan perdue and a fat fuck alien looking guy named jerry".
Of course that was not actually them that did this or signed that,it was the great old robert vento,who will have no momento...
Jamal walked and searched for each car for the 5 white guys he just bumped into two hours ago.Then finally he saw them,they were passed out in trevors ride.He then opened the car door,and whipped out his uzi and shot the glass windows to wake them up.They all woke up and saw jamal.Matt then asked jamal "What do you want from us,and how are we still alive".Jamal then angrily replied "This is a kidnapping you racist son of a bitches,dont say a word if you dont wanna get popped get in the fucking back now,im driving,you too trevor you best buy dweeb looking motherfucker". Trevor then replied "Theres only a certain matter of seats in the back". Jamal then replied "Make it work bitch,trevor can sit on reeds lap,Matt can sit on the fat big headed motherfuckers lap,and the other best buy motherfucker can have his own space,i sit on my homies laps all the time,and i suck they cock mothafucka".The 5 tried holding in there laughs,just for the matter of the fact that this guy was fucking insane.So matt and trevor hesitated but went in the back and had to do that gay ass shit.Jamal Then hopped in the drivers seat and started driving them.Then he started up the engine and started driving.Since every other car had passed out people in them they drove right through the stoplight.The drive was quiet,but all of sudden some guy in the street was running around with a turban,he was probably middle eastern,then he started running at the car,when he got closer,everyone including jamal noticed that this guy was wearing a bomb attached to him.Jamal then screamed "ah hell no we got some isis arabian sand nigger fucker out here,this race war is ridiculous i should kill all of you clowns right now".
Matt then replied "what the fuck are you talking about".Jamal then replied "Dont play stupid with me, i saw the bomb you guys signed your names,now shut up and be quiet".The 5 stared at each other and realized they were completely fucked.Jamal then pulled out his strap and rolled down the window and before the sand nigger got any closer he popped that fucker straight in the bomb,that arabian fucker exploded into dust and was a less of there worry now.But then all of sudden bullets started flying at the car.Who the fuck was it? Jamal put his foot on the gas and started driving faster.The 5 in the back held on to each other and tried to duck from the bullets.Who the fuck was this?
April 4 2031 4 pm (Billy bob perspective)
Billy bob and the rest of his klan members were spying on a black man who found Matt and Reeds car,and hi jacked it,they were huge fans of matt and reed,and the first bomb happened in cousin fucker texas and the war has spread all over,it just started in washington ever since that rocket landed,but the kkk stalk everyone and knew that matt and reed were back in there hometown,they were up in a airplane that had there certified kkk sign on it.They were blowing bullets.They were trying to save there favorite heroes Matt and Reed.Billy bob was the gunner,the pilot was keith lent,the other gunner was jimmy bob,billy bobs brother.The black man was driving super fast to try to escape the bullets.So Billy bob told keith to get the airplane down lower.Finally they were only 5 feet high right above the black man that hijacked matt and reeds car.
April 4 2031 4 pm (Normal perspective)
Jamal looked out the window and saw his worst nightmare,a kkk certified helicopter he stopped focusing on the wheel and pulled out his uzi and started shooting at the helicopters wings and bang! the helicopter fell down on the street,but it was to late jamal wasnt looking at the wheel and the car crashed and flipped side ways.It was now the 5s chance to escape.Although side ways,they survived,they did not know about jamal though.They tried there best to open the car doors,and success they did,then they exited.When they got out,they saw 3 kkk ghost wearing men exit there destroyed helicopter.The 3 kkk ghosts approached The 5.Billy bob started talking "Hi im billy bob,this is my brother jimmy bob and my friend keith,we heard you did the ultimate,you started the race war,we wanna make sure you get out of here safe,were your biggest fans".Matt then replied and said "It wasn't us".Logan and mackie both laughed.Reed froze.Trevor smirked.Jimmy bob then replied to matt "You dont have to deny,its true were here to rescue you,if any niggers,spics or sand niggers get on our ways were gonna put those motherfuckers on a cross and fuck there cousins and burn them on fire". Reed then replied "Robert Vento framed us because he has no momento,our identities aren't safe anymore". Keith then started talking "Well we better hurry up and find a way to get back to the klan safehouse,because we are gonna be facing some niggers,wetbacks and Arabian sand niggers".Then all of sudden trevors crashed car started making noise.Jamal was crawling out the car.It made The 3 cousin fuckers,BIlly bob,Jimmy bob,and Keith eyes rush,it was like as jamal was candy.The 3 cousin fuckers then all yelled "GET THE NIGGER!!!".Jamal was screaming "Oh no someone help,im gonna die a gay black man hung by some bitch ass crackas mane".The 3 cousin fuckers ran for jamal.Matt stared at the 5 and the 5 all knew they had to do something,Matt,Reed,and Trevor ran for the 3 cousin fuckers and tackled them.Billy bob then screamed "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOOOR".Trevor then replied to billy bob and yelled "we are not racist,we just have to protect ourselves from everyone".Jamal then got to his feet and stood up and started running away.The cousin fuckers and the 5 left him alone.The 3 cousin fuckers also got to there feet and stood up.Jimmy bob then started talking and said "We need to find a motherfucking car fast,this aint like the farm were tractors are everywhere".Then all of sudden a loud weird sounding noise started happening it got louder and louder,the cousin fuckers and the 5 all looked around and followed the sound,then they looked up and heard it much louder and clear.It was a UFO.They all were freaking out,then the ufo started sucking them all up,they then passed out.
April 4 2031 11 pm
Wake up!!!! Screamed Ron Russell
The cousin fuckers and the 5 were sitting on the floor of the ufo space ship.
They all woke up at once.Once ron saw that they were awake he started speaking."Im Ron Russell,one of the first human alien hybrids,then i created my son mackie turner with some heathen whore named sonia turner,hes the 2nd human alien hybrid,my proposition to you is,since i already have helped matt and reed in the past with steve jamenson when i could have let him kill them,which i originally planned,i propose to you help me make human alien hybrids more common,you know how gays,blacks,women have rights,we want rights to,the only people that know me and my son are hybrids is people at area 51,the united states will not pass a law for it being allowed,so i have had to never tell my son that he was a quarter alien and hes been in human form his whole life,if you do this i will help you 100% with this race war,with outfits and weapons".The 5 and the cousin fuckers mouth dropped,but i think the cousin fuckers mouth dropped because of tobacco falling out of there mouths.Mackie then spoke up like a sad little child and said "So im a ugly ass alien and my name is mackie,and your my motherfucking dad?". Ron then replied with a smirk on his face "Yes son,welcome home,we have anything here,ice cream,water slides,anything". Mackie then replied "Dad im 32". Ron replied "You are still my baby,i have not seen you since you were 17,but of course you do not remember due to you getting brain swiped by robert vento into thinking your a man named jerry". Reed then asked "How did you know about this". Ron quickly replied and said "I am a alien,i spy on everyone,including you,you guys have had quite the adventure,oh and i saw the cum tsunami with my wife and that sexy judge lydia,nice man". Matt and Reed started laughing. Matt then asked "Well are identities are not safe,we wanna help everybody in this world race war but we cant as this". Then billy bob cut in "Yo what you ever think of being a superhero,you see these kkk outfits we wearing right now,even though it does not have a hood like a super hero,i can make you a super hero outfit,you to reed".Then ron jumped in and said "That actually is not that bad of a idea,ill supply the weapons and technology,you guys will be like batman,but with no super powers,but you will have guns".Matt then added in "well i do have a add on for my dick to shoot nails out my cock".Ron then added in "thats perfect".Then Logan started talking all of sudden "Hey man,im gonna be honest and level with you all,i am you already know,a bisexual man,but today i would like to add,i also feel i am a woman,and since you aliens got so much good technology i was wondering if you could make my dreams come true of becoming a woman".Matt and reed started cracking up,the cousin fuckers made faces then keith started talking "aye man i dont like any faggot shit,you be a faggot some where else".Ron then added in "Its perfectly fine logan,dont listen to these homophobic cousin fuckers.Then Ron pulled out a alien laser pistol and shot jimmy bob and keith.Billy bob started screaming "YOU MOTHERFUCKERS,YOU KILLED THEMMM". Ron then replied "we only need one cousin fucker,not a bunch".Then Ron pulled out a walkie talkie device and started speaking a different language (alien language) "Awklaflafkalfkaflakfal".Is what everyone else heard but what he really said was "I need some medics to come down here and get rid of these cousin fuckers bodies,and i got a gay man that wants to become a woman,cut off his dick and give him a dress and some lipstick".
Shortly after a bunch of aliens arrived.Everyone got a little weirded out,they were exactly what they thought aliens were supposed to look like.Ron then started talking "You see,if we had more hybrids we could all get along,but your gonna have to deal with these aliens for now".
Everyone made faces.Then Logan stood up.Then ron instructed logan to follow the aliens and so logan did.The other 4 just sat there and thought to them selves "what the fuck".
April 5 1 pm
Robert Vento sat in his office with Davey Laymance and Dylan shit.
Robert rolled up a blunt at his office desk.Davey laymance and dylan were gonna smoke with Robert.
Davey handed Robert a lighter.Robert lighted the blunt.Davey then said to Robert "I want this day to be special,Robert".
Robert replied "oh baby it will".Robert pulled down his pants,as so did Davey.Then dylan shit said "what the fuck is going on".Robert said "we are having a orgy".Dylan shit then yelled "this shit is gay".Robert then yelled "get the fuck out then if you do not like it".Dylan replied "I want weed though".Robert started getting frustrated then he quickly said "listen up dylan,if you want some weed,your gonna shove this blunt up my ass and fuck me with it,or im gonna fucking shoot you in the head.Dylans heart dropped,he thought to himself maybe he should have joined with matt and reed instead.But he knew that it was to late.Dylan got butt naked and joined the gay weed smoking orgy.
April 5 7 pm
Matt,Reed,Trevor,and Mackie were all sitting at a restaurant in the ufo.Trevor spoke up and said "you know guys,its been a while since we seen logan,how do you think his sex operation is going". Mackie replied "i dont know but i wish the best for him.". Then all of sudden a woman walked in screaming "IM BACK AND MORE BEAUTIFUL THEN EVER!" It was logan...or whatever she is now.Reed and matt started laughing there asses off.Mackie remained quiet,but with a slight grin on his face.Then the new woman replied "SHUT THE FUCK UP IT ISNT FUNNY,MY NAMES LILLY NOW!'.Matt replied "i feel sorry for the alien that had to do this operation". Reed laughed and said "I would have shot myself in the head".Then lilly replied "Actually it wasnt a alien,it was a black guy they recently saved,his names lamar,the kkk was hunting him down,hes my boyfriend now".Matt then replied "then hes either gay or bisexual". Lilly replied "Im a woman god damn it!". Lilly looked nothing like its prior self,logan,her hair was orange,she had fake but a convincing pair of big ass and tits,the only thing you could recognize if you knew logan was his retarded looking face he had.Then all of sudden a alien walked in.The alien then spoke up and said "guys,the boss ron whats you,its important".
April 5 8 pm
Dylan was haunted by the orgy,but still remained quiet and loyal.They were all sitting at Robert ventos table.Robert spoke up and then said "alright,so hears the plan,everyone hates Reed and Matt now, i got a group of men that are gonna go out and murder people disguised as criminals that have the words Matt and reed inc on there shirts,everyone will think its matt and reeds crew."
April 5 9 pm